How to plan a wedding: Seven strategies for a spectacular day
I have been studying the psychology and business of weddings for close to two decades. Along the way and in writing the book “Wedding Planning and Management: Consultancy for Diverse Clients,” I have communicated with countless couples and vendors as well as the next generation of brides, grooms and business owners represented by my Gen Z undergraduate students. I teach both wedding planning and finance classes, allowing students to explore the emotional, monetary and creative synergies that merge as a couple prepares to launch their married life. With this context in mind, I would like to share seven strategies for a spectacular wedding day.
1. Think about the marriage first
This is my most important tip and one that should drive every decision made when planning a wedding. While you want your wedding to be unforgettable, don’t forget that the choices you make and how you make them are likely to frame your long-term relationship. For example, some couples accrue debt through unmitigated spending during their engagement period, then are saddled with crushing monthly payments that can last for years to come and cause long-term stress. Other couples bicker incessantly about the minutiae, establishing a pattern for how they will manage conflict once married.
As you begin the wedding planning process, remain forward thinking by delineating and discussing the shared goals that will define your marriage, thus setting the stage for a collaborative approach focused on an enduring relationship. Remember that the ceremony is by far the most important part of the day, as this is when you pledge your commitment to each other. Writing your own vows, even if they will not be stated during the ceremony, provides an excellent opportunity to revisit and reinforce your shared vision for your marriage.
2. Create a budget blueprint
Weddings are expensive! Most couples are shocked when they start pricing out the details, as purchases such as the wedding gown, floral décor, professional photography and catering are new territory. This is where a budget blueprint comes in handy and there are countless wedding-based apps and spreadsheets to help guide you. While budget templates abound, every couple’s “must haves” differ, so take time out to brainstorm and list the elements that are important to you as individuals and as a couple.
Once you have your “must haves” itemized, do your homework before booking your first vendor appointment. Research allows you to balance fantasy and reality, as you do not want to be caught off guard if it turns out, for example, that the dream cake you saw on TikTok costs $24 a slice to replicate.
3. Surround yourself with great people
Most engagements encompass a year or more. During this lengthy timeframe, it is easy to get buried in the details and lose sight of the overall goal of a life-long, happy marriage. The best way to keep the tone light and joyful is to surround yourself with an amazing team. This starts with the couple…take time, meaning weeks or months, to enjoy the simple fact that you have agreed to get married rather than plunging immediately into planning mode. Next, consider your closest friends and family members who may be actively and regularly involved. If someone on your shortlist is known for being overly opinionated, pushy, or downright miserable to be around, then maintain a healthy distance. Also consider your vendors. If you decide to hire a wedding consultant, know that you will spend an inordinate amount of time communicating with this individual, so select someone with whom you click and who is friendly and supportive rather than controlling. You will be in close proximity to your photographer throughout your wedding day, so hire based on both skill and personality.
Surrounding yourself with great people extends to your guest list. Beware the big wedding, unless you have a no-holds-barred budget to match. Keep in mind that the number of guests you invite correlates directly with cost and the quality of your wedding day interactions. From a spectacular standpoint, you are far better off treating your closest circle to an unforgettable day of hospitality rather than going on the cheap because you overstepped your budget due to inviting the masses. If you are seeking an intimate gathering, you may need to rein in your parents and set parameters as to how many guests they have the discretion to invite./p>
4. Get organized
“What should I do first?” This is an important question, as some decisions need to be made far earlier than others. Date and location must come first, as popular wedding venues are booked a year or more in advance. From there, consider the fact that many vendors can only manage one or two weddings per day; for instance, if you want the best videographer in town to document the full day, book early. Other vendors, such as caterers, pastry chefs, transportation companies, rental agencies and stationery specialists can balance the needs of many clients on a single day. While all vendors appreciate as much advance notification as possible, the urgency to books lessens as the capacity to serve multiple clients increases.
Avoid rushing out to book and purchase everything the moment you get engaged, as impulse buying typically leads to regret, repurchasing and waste. The best example of an impulse purchase is the wedding gown, which is frequently chosen with undue haste too early in the process and cannot be returned or exchanged. In preparation for making payments, be certain to create an organized digital and hard copy folder to store all contracts and receipts. For high-ticket items such as catering, seek multiple proposals and read them carefully! Details regarding minimum orders, staffing and add-on costs such as taxes and gratuities should be included to allow you to make “apples to apples” informed decisions.
5. Showcase diversity
The theme of your wedding day should reflect your uniqueness as individuals and as a couple. You can showcase your diverse backgrounds and interests through subtle touches or your overarching theme can encompass culture, subculture, history or shared experiences. Just a few examples of ways to incorporate your unique lens include:
- a strategic color scheme
- attire for the ceremony and reception
- ceremony traditions, readings and artifacts
- music, instrumentation and dance
- food and beverage selections
- observational and hands-on entertainment
- favors and gifts
Pro tip – avoid overdoing your theme! A nuanced vision allows you to pay tribute to your combined history while not overshadowing the day.
6. Keep a sustainable mindset
Modern couples are increasingly stepping away from the era of “conspicuous consumption” and, instead, intentionally seeking ways to reduce their carbon footprint. While there are countless ways to go green with a wedding, two ideas follow, chosen because they are particularly impactful from a conservationist standpoint.
The most globally aware option that can be made is to invite fewer guests, as emissions related to airline travel, ground transportation and the energy used in hotel rooms together comprise the vast majority of a wedding’s carbon footprint. Should a small wedding not be feasible or desirable, then the second-best approach is to select eco-friendly lodging, venues and catering. Many hotels and wedding venues are LEED certified, meaning they have achieved a green building rating specific to construction, interior, operations and maintenance. In terms of food and beverage, prioritize caterers who source locally, offer organic ingredients and avoid single use bottles, dinnerware and flatware.
7. Lighten up
Coming full circle, your engagement foretells a lifetime of choices and decisions. Make the most of it by keeping it light, easy and fun. Seek humor in what occasionally borders on the absurd, such as when you drive two hours to meet a vendor who doesn’t show or your absolute favorite “must have” celebrant plans a vacation that conflicts with your wedding date. Chaos will happen, and learning to roll with it can define the years to come.
Be purposeful in maintaining a relaxed vibe, and everyone in your circle will echo your tone. Seek lighthearted entertainment you both enjoy and wellness activities that decrease stress. Look out for each other, and know that the commitment you are making on your wedding day is built on the respect, trust and love you have cultivated over time. By following these strategies, the memories of your wedding day and the preparation thereof are certain to be spectacular!
To learn more about wedding planning, read this book by School of Sport, Recreation, and Tourism Management faculty Maggie Daniels. Learn more about the Tourism and Event Management program at George Mason University by visiting our website.